please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
