and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You took a bar mat shot.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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