i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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