in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
