Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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