New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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