my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
