She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i out mim tonsoeep
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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