The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.