I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
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We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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