You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
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