More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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