Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
