we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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