Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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