I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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