He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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