Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
