why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
