Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Congratulations! We have a period
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