i think my mom watched the whole time
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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