true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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