So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
