I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fuck appropriateness.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
