Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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