all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
