im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
