then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
They are going to name an STD after you.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
