Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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