I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My feet surprised me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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