I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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