i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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