I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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