cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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