I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
