So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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