Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
