I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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