i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
