About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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