I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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