I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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