Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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