Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
