does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
