I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
