you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize