me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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