Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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