That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
dude i'm inner monologue high
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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