so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize