I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize