Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Four minutes until I can fart!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
