Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize