It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
