We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Pooping to opera.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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