i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
