Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We left the knife in your bed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
