tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
