I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize