Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
