I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
