If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
