i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
